Why Do You Work Out?

I guess I didn't tell you before that I used to teach Women Studies at university. This course is one of my favorites and the one closest to my heart, even closer than teaching literature. I was reading an article on the politics behind disordered eating and at first, I rejected the idea and felt offended. It never left my mind, though and I kept thinking about it.

Basically, the article said that women are conditioned to think that their appearances will determine how other people treat them. Through our upbringing and mass media, we are taught to treat our bodies as social currency. In my case, I have always thought that to be respected, I always have to look my best. That's the thinking that I grew up with. I have a grandmother who told me that if I get married, I should ALWAYS, ALWAYS look my best or else I'll give my husband an excuse to fool around. Alright, I know how superficial that advice was, but throughout my life, I've seen the reality about how important image is and the rewards you get by looking good. I have also seen how my self-esteem is related to how I perceived my appearance.

Now I know how dangerous this thinking becomes especially if you hold yourself to an unattainable ideal. Look around you and you will see that mass media holds us up to a body size that represents 5% of the female population, leaving the remaining 95% frustrated with their bodies. Some resort to disordered eating practices or countless hours in the gym. The author says it's the "politics of distraction" at work. Instead of focusing on our own education or skills, we focus on maintaining our weight or looking good.

The first time I read this article, I was offended. How can working out and dieting or spending time looking good be a "gendered form of social control"? I am educated; I have the skills. But it's true that I have to set aside about two hours of my time to working out, which could be spent learning photography or blogging.


I must confess that I bought the 30-Day Shred because I wanted to look good, not to become healthier or stronger. I wanted to lose weight because I thought I was flabby. When I tried calculating my BMI in this BMI calculator, I realized that I don't need to because I was the normal weight. How easily it was to fall prey to what the fitness and beauty industry wants me to believe.

It was true that I derived some part of my self-esteem to how good I looked. Whenever I start gaining weight, I felt lazy, out of control, and ugly. I rarely take a photo of myself because I don't look as good as the ones I see in magazines, although I get a lot of compliments that I am pretty. The funny thing is, I enjoyed looking good, too. I loved purchasing beauty products, clothes, and shoes. I enjoyed being a girl. I thought being preoccupied with my appearance is a "girl" thing. What I didn't realize is that we were trained to think that it is normal. What's more, the beauty industry is cashing in on our insecurities. By holding us up to a standard of beauty that is out of reach and doling out products that supposedly would help us reach that ideal, capitalistic forces can hold us by the neck.

 I might be stepping on a lot of toes here, but I did not write this to judge anyone who is reading this. I only wrote about what I've realized about myself and I don't want to forget. I have to keep myself in check and to learn to see way past my appearances for me to feel good about myself. I have to teach myself once again to feel good because of what I do and not what I look like. This is important especially since I have two daughters whom I want to set a good example.

I am still continuing my 30-Day Shred, by the way, but I'm doing it now for different reasons. I feel stronger now. I can carry a wiggling child up the stairs without feeling like my body's giving way. I came from the grocery store and carried the groceries effortlessly. I love how my body feels like a well-oiled machine now. I'm just not doing it for me to look good.

I found this on Youtube, by the way. This ad wasn't shown in the Philippines, I think. Let me know if they did. But another eye opener for me not to believe what I see in mass media:



*Update: Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred kind of battered my wrists, so if you decide to do this workout, take care of your wrists. I'm thinking of getting a wrist guard because for two days, my wrists were really painful.

P.S. If you want a copy of the article, let me know and I can email it to you.