Part of the thinking that I had to overcome when deciding to become a minimalist was conquering the Depression-era mindset. Although the Philippines didn't have a Depression like it did in the United States, I still believe that the Depression-era mindset is rampant in our country.
The Depression-era mindset was coined for the hoarding attitude of people who have lived through the Depression in the United States. Unclutterer defines this mindset here. When I first read that article, I rejected it outright because I have never felt that we were at a "more prosperous time" to merit throwing away things that you don't need.
In fact, one of the difficulties I've had in embracing minimalism was that I found the practice of throwing away stuff or giving it away wasteful. After all, I grew up in a typical Ilocano household. My mother used to cut up a toothpaste tube in half to make sure that we get all the toothpaste inside; she added water to shampoo so that we'd get every drop. I used to hate living that way and felt ashamed that we had to do that.
That's why when I first started earning I accumulated so much stuff to remind myself that I am not poor. Yet, that mindset never really made me happy. That's because I wanted more stuff than I have and I knew that it will never end.
Now, I have to come to terms with my Ilocano thriftiness and minimalism. Here are a few guidelines that is helping me conquer my Depression-era mindset:
1. Give unused stuff away. I gave most of my stuff away instead of throwing them out. My immediate family members, all girls, had the first pick of my clothes, bags, and other stuff. I didn't know how to ask my friends whether they'd want my stuff because I feel shy asking them. They might think that I am being condescending. Knowing that I have made my family and other people happy with my unused stuff made it easier to part with them.
2. Sell them and create a stuff replacement fund. I got this tip from Get Rich Slowly. One of the most difficult reasons why I can't part with stuff is the worry that I might need it someday. Selling your stuff on Ebay or other online selling sites and putting the money to an emergency fund might drive away that worry. The only downside for this is that you need to invest some time and effort in selling the stuff. I myself was not successful in selling some books on Ebay which makes me wonder about the actual cost of my stuff.
I'd say that you can reserve this tip for big-ticket items like electronics. You can search Ebay and see how much similar items are selling or whether they are selling at all. I also thought of holding a garage sale, but I was thinking about the actual cost of selling stuff, packing them, doing an inventory, and haggling with customers. I don't think spending an entire day selling your clothes for P10 is worth it. Believe me, with all the ukay-ukay shops out there, you'll have a tough time selling clothes for more than that especially in the province.
3. Give unused stuff away. All right, so I'm repeating myself. I think giving away is your best bet to unclutter. Think about it. You will make another person happy and you have all the good will that goes with it. I just loved how my helper's eyes lit up when she saw how many stuffed toys I'm giving her. Contrast that to spending the whole day haggling with a cheapskate who wants the same stuffed toy for P5.
Have I conquered the Depression-era mindset? I'm still trying to. I still have tons of stuff sitting around the house. It's still too hot to really do something physical. I went out today and nearly died from heat stroke (drama queen!). I'm trying to psyche myself so I'll be able to part with my stuff when the rainy season comes and it's cooler where the storage room is right now. For now, I'm feeling more adventurous that I feel I'm ready to take the plunge and to fully embrace the minimalist lifestyle. It has so much promise.
07 May 2010
What Truly Makes You Happy?
“There are three wants which never can be satisfied: that of the rich, who wants something more; that of the sick, who wants something different; and that of the traveler, who says, Anywhere but here.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
This wonderful quote I got from a new blog I just read, 37 Days by Patti Digh who reminded me of my most favorite teacher, Ms. Wasilewski. The quote reminded me of my frustration of not traveling. When I was in college, I dreamed of traveling the world. Impossible! How can someone like me, who doesn't even have enough for her allowance possibly travel the world? I remember buying a cork board and a world map and a bunch of push pins. I was a junior in university. I was ready to start marking the countries I visit. I fell asleep dreaming about the world map populated with so many push pins you can't even read the names of the places.
Fast forward to today. I don't have that world map now. The push pins remain untouched. If I have it right now, I would only have three measly push pins up.
Where did my dream of traveling the world go? It's still here. The yearning to see beautiful, strange sights is still inside me. The promise of adventure still makes my heart beat faster.
Then I remember, spending New Year's Eve on the rooftop of an apartment building in Baltimore's Inner Harbor. I was with friends, and I was filming the magnificent fireworks for my three-year-old daughter to view back in the Philippines. Then an ache swept over me and I felt myself wishing that my husband and my daughter could see this spectacle with me. That same ache haunted me while I was marveling at a New York City brownstone, watching the Shamu Believe show at SeaWorld in San Diego. That's when I realized that I cannot travel, I will not travel if I have to leave my family behind.
Now, I spend my days lamenting how tied down I am in this dusty place with no way out. Tuition fees to think of, bills to pay. How can I even dream of traveling?
The only time I travel now is on a motorcycle with my husband driving. Last week, I was on the motorcycle with my husband and my two kids. We went on a joy ride. Then my youngest screamed "Jo-beee!" when she saw a Jollibee poster on the road, so of course, we had to stop for a snack in Jollibee, a fast food restaurant known for its mascot of a fat bee that children adored the way devout Catholics adored their saints.
I was waiting in line, quietly chuckling as I watched my husband struggle to keep hold of a wriggling one-year-old who was joyously cavorting with her eight-year-old sister. Then I realized, this is what truly makes me happy.
That's when I realized, I don't have to board a plane to be happy. I have happiness right here.
04 May 2010
Stop Being Like Dead Fish. Find Your Dream and Live It!
It's your duty to use what influence you have, unless you want to drift though life like a fish belly-up on the stream.
-Memoirs of a Geisha
I was jolted by this quote I read for the first time seven years ago because the image was so vivid. I don't want to see myself as a fish floating belly-up on the stream. Yet, that's what I've done for most of my life, received whatever it is that life threw at me. I just went with the flow like a dead fish.
I lived my life like everyone else did. I didn't even question why I wanted a job, a house, a family.Isn't it what everybody does? Study, find a good job that pays well, never mind if you keep glancing at the clock wishing you were somewhere else. It pays the bills, right?
I'm not complaining about family. If there's one thing I think I did right, it's being with my husband and having these two beautiful kids. It's the accouterments that go with having a family. I didn't even question why my ultimate dream is to have my own house and a car. It's what everybody dreams of; it's the measure of success in this part of the globe. Except here in the Philippines, it's not something that you can have easily and which gives you the reason to slave away at a job you don't like.
So I have to ask myself, what really matters? Am I spending my days doing what I love doing? Like if I have a week left, do I go out of this world knowing I have no regrets?
The secret to living a meaningful life is to spend it on things that really matter to you.
I know that's the first step, but figuring out what really matters could be tough. I wish I could do it on a mountaintop near the sea, with the waves crashing down on the rocks below. For now, my imagination should suffice.
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