On "Acting Poor"

First off, I'd like to thank everyone for the wonderful comments on my post about "acting poor." Now, for some background on that phrase. I encountered this phrase from an article from BNET about advice to new graduates this 2010. The author said that to become a millionaire, you have to act poor.

Although I have no dreams of being wealthy, I'd like to have enough so we can send both kids to college (or medical school or law school or whatever they want to do with their lives), make sure they are independent by the time they graduate, and live our old age independently. Now that I think of it, I should be wealthy to do these things.

When I became aware of my finances, I got really good at writing down my expenses, but I am not satisfied with the way I'm allocating our income. Too much expenses with minimal savings. I've traced my difficulty in saving more because I am unable to draw the line between need and want. I also took with me a very bad habit from my previous lifestyle when I had more than enough; I didn't care about price.

The answer to my dilemma came in the form of that phrase "act poor" which resulted to my reflecting on why I didn't want to "act poor." Now, I think that it's the answer to my financial problems. I have to act poor so I can save on what really matters and for now, this means preparing for my kids' education and our retirement.

This means examining our current expenses and weeding out what is unnecessary. This means stopping to buy books and other reading materials because I have access to an online library and blogs that are great reads. This means having to finish all the cosmetics and toiletries I have hoarded instead of buying more out of curiosity.

I have to shake off this mindset that to be frugal, you are depriving yourself from any happiness because there are ways to be happy without spending. Besides, this is a practice of mindful living where you channel all your resources and energies into something that's important to you. To me, retiring without having to be a burden to my kids and being able to give them opportunities to become independent are the most important. With this in mind, I can put off not having a weekly manicure or a monthly massage.

Best vs Perfect

I just love this doodle by Ro Paxman, the force behind Scrapgirls.com. Sometimes, we're so bent on doing something perfect that we fail to do it. So, this is my mantra, just "Do the best you can today."

You'll be surprised at how much you can get things done when you get the perfection out of the equation.

Why We Don't Want to Act Poor

Image: Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Leo Babauta in his latest blog post in mnmalist.com said that even those in poverty can embrace the minimalist lifestyle. Minimalism benefits the poor, too. In fact, we need it the most. I personally think that it's one of the ways we can be happy even if we have fewer possessions. For all the benefits that minimalism has to offer, there's a strong possibility that a minimalist lifestyle will be met by disdain by less enlightened folks. In fact, being a minimalist can be misconstrued by most as being poor.

Almost all personal finance blogs I've read said that in order to become rich, we have to act poor. In fact, some millionaires or billionaires live simple lifestyles. I know a millionaire who still line up for discount seats in Broadway shows and who shop at Wal-Mart. So why don't we act poor? Why is there so much fear about becoming or acting poor?

Then, I remembered. When I was in the sixth grade, my family was invited to a family reunion in Isabela. The invite came from distant relatives on my father's side. Now, when you're in the Philippines, a reunion means knowing 10 people and meeting a hundred strangers who will be introduced to you as "relatives." I am not kidding.

The reunion was a real event. The organizers even had parlor games prepared for the kids. Since I was 12 going on 13, I scoffed at the parlor games and contented myself to being a spectator. I noticed that most of the kids wore their Sunday's best. Little girls wore pretty dresses; little boys looked spiffy in their obviously brand new clothes. Then there were the less-fortunate relatives whose clothes were threadbare. While others wore shoes, there were those who had flip-flops that had seen better days. Yet, those in threadbare clothes outran their better-dressed peers. I knew some of them worked in the fields, helping their farmer parents. That probably explained their lithe bodies.

When the parlor games were over, the reunion's organizers said that they'd be giving gifts to all the kids. The kids shrieked with joy and started to line up. Then the organizers discovered that they didn't have enough gifts for all the kids. Their solution? They asked the ones in threadbare clothes to go to the end of the line. Need I elaborate on who didn't get a gift? One little boy contented himself with the gift wrappers which were thrown away by their "richer" relatives.

To my utmost shame, I didn't do anything when I watched this scene unfold. But that little boy who picked up the gift wrappers while other kids played with their new toys remain vivid in my mind. The organizers didn't even think twice not giving gifts to the poorer kids.Yet, this scene is played everyday in slightly different ways in our country. The poor are treated unfairly, disrespectfully, while the rich gets to have free coffee and what-have-you in banks where they deposit their millions. To put it brashly, money talks, people!

So I do understand why we go to great lengths not to appear poor in this country. Call it superficial or just plain wrong, but that's how it is. How can we change it? While we cannot change how the whole world thinks overnight, we could make a commitment not to judge a person based on how she or he looks or what he or she has. Strive to treat everyone equally, but to treat the poor with more compassion. We could also give back in whatever way we could.