My Bucket List

I couldn't believe how empowering the bucket list is. I've been reading about this since last year but haven't got around to doing it. What's great is that my husband and my 8-year-old made their own bucket lists, too. Celestine Chua asked us to do this in our Day 26 and I'm sharing them with you. It's not complete yet. I stopped at 53 56. But I'll be updating this list soon.

1. Learn Italian.
2. Kiss my husband under the Bridge of Sighs in Venice, Italy while the bells are ringing.
3. Travel abroad with my family.
4. Pop bubbles coming out of the Wishing Fish Clock, Regent Arcade Shopping Centre, Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, England. (See Photo)
5. Learn to drive a car.
6. Ride a Vespa in Italy with a silk scarf streaming behind me.
7. Participate in a NaNoWriMo.
8. Publish a chick lit novel called "Boy Magnet."
9. Publish another chick lit novel called "Love Under the Cherry Blossoms."
10. Bake the perfect apple pie. 
11. Visit Green Gables Heritage Place in Canada.
12. Bake cinnamon buns to rival Cinnabon.
13. Zipline in Cagayan de Oro or Subic.
14. Work in the women sector.
15. Drink tequila with my daughters on their 18th birthday.
16. Have a heart-to-heart talk with my daughters' soon-to-be husbands.
17. Same as above for my second daughter.
18. Help plan my daughters' weddings.
19. Hold a tarsier on my hand.
20. Hold a baby panda.
21. Hold a tiger cub.
22. Ride a boat through Puerto Princesa's Underground River.
23. Experience lush hair with hair extensions.
24. Perfect my English verb tenses.
25. Be a friend's maid of honor.
26. Fly first class.
27. Fly business class.
28. Watch Phantom of the Opera with clear vision. (I watched it already but without my contact lenses. Bad idea.)
29. Watch Wicked in NYC.
30. Drink wine in Tuscany.
31. Live in Tuscany.
32. Meet an online friend in person.
33. Ask for forgiveness.
34. Ask for forgiveness.
35. Complete GEMMA.
36. Complete a Ph.D.
37. Work for an international organization.
38. Meet Neil Gaiman.
39. Take my kids to the American Museum of Natural History in New York.
40. Start a counseling center/spa.
41. Interview Uncle about his life.
42. Write about Uncle's life.
43. Become the Pioneer Woman of the Philippines.
44. Spend a whole day in a spa.
45. Complete reading The Sandman again.
46. Meet Celes in Singapore.
47. Meet Eleanor once again and thank her.
48. Accompany my second kid on her first day of school.
49. Complete our emergency fund and never touch it.
50. Read Dante's La Divina Comedia in Italian and understand it.
51. Eat gelato in Italy.
52. Stroll along the Louvre.
53. See the Mona Lisa with Pammy.
54. Live each day with joy and gratefulness.
55. Watch Mei sing and cheer for her.
56. Take my daughters to see a volcano.
57. Bring my daughter back to a beach in Cebu and help her build a sand castle.


And because my list is boring, here are my daughter's and husband's list. (When I told my daughter I published her list, she was annoyed with me because her list "isn't finished yet" and she gave me an assignment to finish my list. Isn't she adorable?)

My Daughter's Bucket List:
1. Read a book.
2. Bake cookies.
3. Read another book.
4. Write 4 stories.
5. Publish the 4 stories in a book called My Storybook
6. Read more books.
7. Cook on my own.
8. Go to a volcano.
9. Go back to the beach where I made a sand castle and make another one.
10. Go to the clouds and eat a cloud.
11. Teach Nyv how to read a book.
12. Eat my imaginary cookie.
13. Grow my mongo seeds to bear more seeds.
14. Write a letter to nobody.
15. Tell a joke so funny that the furniture would laugh at.
16. Have a kitten.
17. Make an anagram for my name.
18. Drink my imaginary milk.
19. Have a treasure chest locked with letter combination ******.
20. Travel to a famous foreign place and take a picture of me riding a local vehicle there.
21. Know the Spanish language.
22. Have my “Sims” fulfill their lifetime wish.
23. Write a bestselling book and cover it with gold foil.
24. Type nonsense like JDUEFJDNJLJEOCBDHBVDBHKEYRJCVCH.
25. Cry like a baby.

Hubby's Bucket List:

1. ***
2. Drive a Porsche 911 Turbo
3. Travel the whole Philippines with family
4. Skydiving
5. Go to the moon
6. Slap Bill Gates
7. Stop my baby’s plans for my daughters’ weddings. (Lol-Miss Guimba)
8. Kiss Megan Fox.
9. Buy a BMW 1000R
10. Teach Nia how to brush her teeth properly.
11. Grow a mustache and a beard.
12. Implant my brain inside a computer and upload it to the Internet.
13. Fly a plane.
14. Watch Top Gear Live.
15. Build my own garage.
16. Watch my babies grow up.
17. Look like Brad Pitt.
18. Explore the ocean.

I Have Settled but the Universe Won't Let Me...

It seems that at the ripe old age of 31, I have settled... I couldn't believe it... I used to pattern my life according to "Anne of Green Gables," all bursting with optimism and joy. What happened? Life happened. Realities encroached on my imagination. The mundane have taken over my life.

What happened?

I lived my life like a zombie, that's what and it took Celestine Chua's 30 DLBL to shake me off my stupor. Life has been an uphill battle since I've started this challenge. Fear has often held me back. My lack of faith. My distrust with the people's ability to be able to help me realize my dreams. Reflecting about my life, I've realized that the synchronicity that Celes was talking about, I have lived it, continuously in my life. It's just a matter of recognizing these events.

It's funny how even when I have failed to dream, the universe has not allowed me to settle. Just when I was floating along, letting life happen, the universe has given me what I needed at the exact time when I needed it. He or she has given me beautiful people who have served as my mentors, my guides to help me at that exact moment. I thank Celes and Kate for being with me at this time. I have had these spiritual guides, if you will call them that, in my life and I'd like to thank them with this poem I made way back in 1997 when I was still writing, when I was still confident with my writing.

To Kate and Celes

I was a rosebud

all shut up in a 

green sheath,

afraid of the world

and what it may bring.

My cramped world 

was just right for me.

I was uncomfortable

but I felt I was safe

from the strange clamor 

of the world outside.

Then your hand came

with strong gentleness,

opening my self

one petal at a time

carefully... 

lovingly...

I fought against it

hard...

reluctant...

It hurt to pry my own

world open.

Then I saw the light

radiating from your face.

I felt vulnerable and afraid

but your smile reflected the sun

and banished all my fears.

I basked in the sunshine.

warmed by her constant rays

bringing freedom and love.

And I see you,

who patiently opened

a frightened bud

and I see myself

so beautiful

because of you

and the sun. 

The Beauty of Possibilities

This is Day 9-11 of my  30-Day Live a Better Life Challenge.

So as always, I've tried to take up more than I can chew. Celestine's 30 DLBL proved to be more work than I imagined and I am faced with making a decision either go for my own 30-day challenge or go for the 30 DLBL. I can't do both apparently with full-time work and mothering. Since I feel like my own life's direction is better than being able to churn out 30 beautiful blog posts for September, I chose the 30 DLBL. I could always do the 30-Day Blog Challenge any month, but this is more important. I am also meeting a lot of people who are passionate about their personal growth and I can't miss out on the wonderful support from the community.

The photo on top is what I've been doing for two days. It's part of the 30 DLBL, creating a vision board for my life. In envisioning my ideal life, I encountered some resistance which I talked to you about here, but once I've gotten past that, what was revealed is nothing short of amazing.

Through this exercise, I have revealed what I really wanted to do with my life, that is, helping women to live their best lives. I want to be able to reach out to other women, mothers especially, and let them discover their own beauty and to have the courage to live their dreams. I'm dreaming of a spa that nurtures the body, mind, and spirit. I want a haven where mothers can temporarily get away from their family responsibilities, without feeling guilt, and indulging their own selves so that they can go back to their families renewed. 

I want them to enter this haven and feel extreme beauty that they're going to weep with joy. They will be pampered with caring massages that will slough away their cares and be ready for counseling. They will be enveloped with acceptance, so they can make sense of their lives and figure out how to live their dreams. They will be made beautiful inside and out.  It's sort of Celestine Chua's dream school, but for women, with spa services to boot. I want this to be open to all women, whether they are rich or poor. 

You might say, "You're dreaming, kid," but that's right, I am dreaming and loving it. No logical side of me getting in the way. Well, it is getting in the way, but I'm working to silence it and unleash my imagination instead. 

I dream about being surrounded my lovely family and friends... I dream of growing old with my husband with a love that's endless and pure like a diamond coming out from the fires of everyday living...I dream of my daughters, grown and beautiful in their own right, fulfilling their own dreams. I dream of true friends who are as passionate as I am with living and growing and helping other people. I dream of writing inspirational stories so women could relate and be inspired to live their own beautiful lives. I dream of being able to discover Tuscany and enjoying good food. I dream of that lovely kitchen on the left where I can bake to my heart's content and nourish my husband, my kids, and grandkids. I dream of time to myself to write and to read on my Kindle and to reconnect with my soul. I dream about a well-lived life full of truth and beauty, a life lived with courage. 

How about you? How do you see your beautiful life? Are you living it? Do you have the courage to live it? Because it could be yours, if you want it enough.

P.S. I have been singing Enya's Book of Days since discovering my life's purpose. I'd like to share it with you. along with these beautiful pictures of nature.

One day, one night, one moment,

my dreams could be, tomorrow.

One step, one fall, one falter,

east or west, over earth or by ocean.

One way to be my journey,

this way could be my Book of Days.

Ó lá go lá, mo thuras,

an bealach fada romham.

Ó oíche go hoíche, mo thuras,

na scéalta nach mbeidh a choích.

No day, no night, no moment,

can hold me back from trying.

One flag, One fall, One falter,

I'll find my day may be, Far and Away.

Far and Away.

One day, one night, one moment,

with a dream to believe in.

One step, one fall, one falter,

find a new earth across a wide ocean.

This way became my journey,

this day ends together, Far and Away.

This day ends together, Far and Away.

Far and Away.

Kindred Spirits and the Graceful Exit

Image from http://www.sxc.hu

This is Day 8 of my 30-Day Blogging Challenge which coincides with my joining Celestine Chua's 30-Day Live a Better Life Challenge.

A whirlwind brought us together. 

We were in the second grade and a small whirlwind formed in the middle of the school grounds. While most of our braver classmates rushed outside with unconstrained glee to watch this natural phenomenon, we both cowered under our desks, convinced that it was the end of the world. We were inseparable since.

With her, our ordinary school grounds were transformed into a magical place. The falling leaves of the acacia trees were elusive wish leaves, rewarding the person who catches one of them with a single wish. The narrow passage between the stone grotto of the Virgin Mary and school walls were the intestines of a giant who swallowed us whole, its protruding stones the cilia (we were fascinated with science) that moved us across the intestinal tract. A mere hole in a tree was the doorway to the land of the fairies. We would stand watch every recess time and after school for a glimpse of these shy creatures.

We read books aloud together, taking turns on the even or odd pages, a ballpoint pen serving as a pointer so we wouldn't get ahead of each other. Because her parents would frequently go to Manila, she was the source of my books aside from the library. We avidly read "From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler" or "Jennifer, Hecate, MacBeth, William McKinley, and Me, Elizabeth." We were fans of E.L. Konigsburg and Enid Blyton. We plotted on how to steal "The Princess Bride" from the library, but we never got around to actually doing it. 

Saturdays would be spent either at her house or mine, regardless that we lived about 20 kilometers apart. We would spend endless afternoons playing in the lush grounds of their neighbor who was a doctor. We buried time capsules and pretended we were characters in "The Legend of Zelda." At our house, we would play dress up; my mother had an endless supply of gowns from my relatives in Canada. We would borrow my mother's heels and strut around the house, pretending we were princesses. We mastered the fine art of dining that way, consulting a 1970s tome of fashion, beauty, and manners that I inherited from my beauty queen aunt. 

She left for two years with her family to New Zealand and Brunei, and how we missed each other. We wrote letters and although we both had friends, the moment she came back, we were together again. During high school, we would write letters, Anne of Green Gables-style, to each other and mail it. We knew that other people would think that was silly, but we were never too old for our imaginations. Our relationship was like Anne and Diana, but we could never decide who would be Anne or Diana. We both wanted to be Anne, since Diana married early and didn't go to college.

Of course there were fights, our petty jealousies, our usual teenage drama. Looking back, I believe we both envied each other, but there was no doubt about our loyalty with each other. 

One of the best memories I had with her was talking in the dark in their house. Her room was in an attic with a window and we watched in awe as the moon rose slowly in the velvet sky. 

We got into the same university during college but with different courses. She lived in a campus dormitory and I lived with my relatives. It became more difficult to keep in touch, but we would spend endless hours over the phone or have Saturday dates at Pizza Hut. She had her set of friends; I had mine and we slowly drifted apart. In elementary school, we both pledged to be bosom friends forever "as soon as the sun and moon shall endure," but we didn't realize that we'll be living in different worlds. 

Yet, I still treasured our friendship. She was my maid of honor and my eldest daughter's godmother.We would see each other once a year and I always considered her my best friend. Then, I heard that she got married. I wasn't invited. It was an intimate family affair, I heard, but the hurt was palpable nevertheless. With that gesture, she unknowingly said that the friendship is over. I would cry remembering her; my husband would comfort me and tell me that I had to let her go and would joke that I act like a jilted lover.

Today, I still cry for my best friend and mourn the loss of a great friendship, but I am ready to let go now. I still have to master the art of the graceful exit. I am inspired by what Ellen Goodman wrote in her swan song for The Washington Post, "There's a trick to the Graceful Exit. It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, a relationship is over -- and to let go. It means leaving what's over without denying its validity or its past importance in our lives...[emphasis mine] It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving on rather than out." So I tread lightly, but move forward and open myself up to new friendships.


How about you? Do you have a childhood best friend? If you're still together today, then you're truly blessed. Please take the time to tell her/him how you treasure your friendship. 

The Point of Emotional Resonance

Image from www.sxc.hu

This is Day 7 of my 30-Day Blogging Challenge which coincides with my joining Celestine Chua's 30-Day Live a Better Life Challenge.

I am actually ashamed to admit that I was doing this personal development thing. I would be embarrassed and close the window whenever my husband gets near enough to read what's on my monitor. I'd breezily explain to my husband that it's something to while away my time, although I know that I don't have extra time on my hands as I'm battling deadlines left and right. I know he doesn't believe me, but it's hard to admit that you feel inadequate, that you have a problem.

I've always cultivated this image of being perfect. Every time I text parents, I usually deliver good news. I am earning lots of money despite having an unconventional job. I have wonderful kids and a wonderful husband. My clients love me. I usually gloss over bouts of procrastination, mistakes, and lost clients because I pride myself on being perfect.

But I'm not perfect. I don't think I will ever be, but I want to be my best self which explains my obsession with personal development, minimalism, and what-have-you. 

I entered this challenge with a healthy dose of skepticism. How can you improve your life in just 30 days? It creeped me out that 1,099 people could be doing the same thing I'm doing. There was even a time when I thought that Celes was crazy, thinking that you can do this in an hour or so everyday. I found myself struggling with the tasks, especially since I also signed up for a big project that turned out to have a short timetable. Add the mundane tasks of mothering to the mix and I'm one big mess. I wanted to escape to my own Walden Woods (I'm thinking Puerto Princesa) and to "live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

Alas, I don't have that luxury. I had to make do with the time I had and although my tasks are as haphazard as a sloppily put together children's project, I am amazed at what it can do to your life. Yesterday, as per Celes' advice of pressing on against resistance, I tried discovering my purpose. I even did the brain dumping exercise, thinking "This is so silly... This is so silly..." Then I started listing my purpose... Celes said that you will come to a point of emotional resonance. I personally thought, "Emotional resonance, my a**!" But did the exercise anyway.

Somewhere between my 25th answer, I began crying... and then Enya's Caribbean Blue started playing (I had  Enya, my absolutest favoritest artist ever in the background.) and I couldn't stop crying... I've discovered my life's purpose. Corny much? I haven't had this spiritual experience since I left organized religion behind.

To live my life in truth and beauty and to live it courageously so other people can be inspired to do the same.

To create a world that allows people to be their true and best selves.

How many times have I aligned my life according to other people. First, I aligned it according to what my parents expect of me, then my church and my friends, then my husband and family. Life is never about me, but according to other's expectations.  I remember when we were asked to do a psychology paper about our identities and all I came up with are roles, a daughter, a friend, a girlfriend, a student. No wonder I love those travels abroad. It seems like I was presented a blank slate to start over again. I was just me and it felt wonderful. It's easy to be yourself in another territory; you don't know anyone. No one has a preconception of who you are. The challenge now is whether I can do it here in my present world without having to escape.

Caribbean Blue

...Eurus... 

...Afer Ventus... 

...so the world goes round and round 

With all you ever knew -- 

They say the sky high above 

Is Caribbean blue...  

...if every man says all he can, 

If every man is true, 

Do I believe the sky above 

Is Caribbean blue...  

...Boreas... 

...Zephryus...  

...if all you told was turned to gold 

If all you dreamed was new, 

Imagine sky high above 

In Caribbean blue...  

...Eurus... 

...Afer Ventus... 

...Boreas 

Zephryus... 

...Africus...  

Confessions of a Young Mother

Image

This is Day 6 of my 30-Day Blogging Challenge which coincides with my joining Celestine Chua's 30-Day Live a Better Life Challenge.

I inherited my wanderlust from my mother. When I was a kid, my mother went away for two to three days, a week at most to work conferences. She would go off alone and I remember how I missed her on those days she's off somewhere. I wondered why she couldn't/wouldn't take me with her.

Perhaps that's the reason why I feel myself awash with guilt whenever dreams of travel fill my head. How could I do this to my daughters who obviously need me and who enjoy being with me? Does this mean that I love them less?

Now that I'm a mother, I understand how my mother would need time for herself. Life as a mother is full of endless and selfless giving that it's easy to come to a point when you have nothing to give. I know that few mothers would admit to this, for fear of being labeled as a bad mother. I attribute this to the unfair images of the good mother we are fed daily.

I remember watching in horror at this weird Japanese film when a mother was dying. Her husband and her children were crying out to her not to die. In desperation, the husband said, "Cook breakfast for us!" and the dying mother rose, her eyes glazed with fever. Then she got a wok and started cooking. After finishing her cooking, she went back to her bed and died. I watched that movie when I was in college and I interpreted it as another message for feminism. Now, that scene in the movie has lost its surreality. I am living it in less dramatic versions.

Remember that Blue Bay Tuna commercial where the kid ate all the canned tuna and the mother gave her share? Mothers are always seen in all their unselfish glory, giving, serving, washing clothes, complete with a luminous smile. Those images don't tell us how unreasonable children can be, how hard it is to be jarred awake by a child's wailing for milk, how icky it is to clean up after a child's "accidents." Those images don't tell us the guilt we feel when we thoroughly enjoy a day out without the kids.

All these inconveniences are easy to endure because children are adorable. Their innocent gazes full of love... their heavenly baby smells... their toothy grins.... their unquestioning acceptance of your love. It's easy to fall in love with them again even after they hit you square in the face with a baby bottle full of milk. But what if they're already grown? What if they already have lives of their own? Would you feel like all your sacrifices are worth it? I dread the time when my children would be off not needing my company anymore. When they go off to live their lives independently, would I be selfless enough not to expect for their call or their presence during holidays? When they already have families of their own and the visits become more infrequent, will I live my life quietly alone in a nursing home and feel nothing but gratitude for their presence?

I am raising my kids as best as I know how. Parenting is like walking in an unknown path, sometimes fumbling along, sometimes in resolute steps, but always, always with fierce and utterly complete love. When that time comes, will my children call out to me when they're in pain or in the depths of despair like I called my mother several times when I was giving birth to my first child? I hope so. No! Wait! I know so.

If you're grown-up, would you do a favor for me? Could you call or text your mother and tell them you love them? I would be very grateful.

Missed... Day 4... But It's Okay

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This is Day 4-5 of my 30-Day Blogging Challenge which coincides with my joining Celestine Chua's 30-Day Live a Better Life Challenge.

I knew it... I knew that I'll miss yesterday's post because I was overwhelmed with tasks that I needed to do... work-related stuff that I didn't want to forgo because there are people who are depending on them... Plus, I haven't had a decent night's sleep the past few days. Honestly, for those mothers who work full-time jobs with full-time mothering responsibilities, my hat's off to you. How can you seriously do it? I have a nanny and a mother-in-law assisting my mothering. Then my MIL had the flu and I had to take over, and I didn't have a decent night's sleep until last night.

I should be banging my head on the wall right now the way I do when I make a mistake or do not deliver. The old Miss Guimba would have cowered in shame and left this project. But I started this project with a mission to be kind to myself, so like my little girl would say after she watched "Meet the Robinsons," "Keep moving forward."

Yesterday's task was to discover your mission in life. I tried this exercise and I can never do it. First is I was afraid that I will never discover my purpose and then second, I'll discover the wrong one. Then, I'd be living my life with a false purpose and when I'm about to die, I'll look at my life and discover that I was chasing the wrong dream or purpose... See, there's that fear again? So the moment I saw this in Celestine Chua's blog, I was filled with dread again.... then there were those deadlines looming and I chose the easier path and worked on the deadlines instead... worked myself to exhaustion so I wouldn't have to face the task.

I woke up, though, feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the task. I know that you're supposed to fight through this exercise; some said they were on the 800th answer before it finally hit the spot. I got mine the first time, possibly because I've been mulling around this one for about a month. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I was thinking about it...

I discovered I knew it all along... It's even written in my blog profile description:

My purpose in life is to discover beauty in myself, in others, and the world, and to be able to share that beauty with them.

Too general, maybe... I'm not even sure if this is a purpose, but by God did it give me peace to finally be able to write it down.

How about you? Have you thought about why you are here on earth and what you're supposed to do in this life? Are you living your life's purpose? 

How to Achieve Your Dream: Don't Overthink

Image by Eustaquio Santimano

This is Day 3 of my 30-Day Blogging Challenge which coincides with my joining Celestine Chua's 30-Day Live a Better Life Challenge.

Today's task is to create a vision board of your dream life and part of that dream life is to temporarily live in Italy. I used to dream about going to Venice, Italy after I watched A Little Romance when I was in the sixth grade. Like Lauren, I wanted to ride a gondola and kiss my lover under the Bridge of Sighs at sunset while the bells toll. This way, we'll be in love forever. 

In fact, I still believed in this dream when I took Italian as my language elective, but alas, reality got in the way and I was forced to forget about this dream and my Italian conjugations. Now, all I know is how to count in Italian. It didn't help that one of my friends who had been to Italy said that Venice is ugly; that it has deteriorated over the years. I even created an article for a textbook about Venice and found out how it is sinking a few millimeters every year. Yet, love for Italy and its wonderful culture beckoned so I switched to Tuscany. 

Image Courtesy of Saida Online

This is exactly where I visualize myself, glorious in Tuscany. 

Don't you just love the colors in this photo?

Aren't these pictures sumptuous? 

I would love to stay in Italy for two years and discover the whole country. I don't want to just tour it; I want to stay there and get to know the place, the language, the people. Most of my jaunts abroad lasted a year at most and I have come back renewed and loving the Philippines all the more.

While doing this exercise, I realize how doable dreams are if you were honest to yourself. If you think in simple terms, you'll find out that it's perfectly possible. We just tend to overthink our dreams and get scared in the process. For example, I could do the following to achieve this dream.

1. Find out how much it takes to live in Tuscany for a year.

2. Scout for scholarships/trainings. All my travels were free, because I got into scholarships or paid internships. Or:  Save like crazy. There are endless possibilities to getting the resources for it if you're really determined. 

3. Research about the place.

4. Learn the language and the culture.

5. Pack your bags and go.

Most of my trips abroad were serendipitous. It's like when my life is spinning out of control/getting boring or routine, an opportunity to go outside the country comes and it's like the whole universe has conspired to give me the break that I need. In fact, when I Googled "A Little Romance" because my memories about it were rusty, I was pleasantly surprised when the male lead was described as a highly intelligent boy who loves Hollywood films and who uses his mathematical abilities to bet at horse races. My husband who's a Math whiz himself told me how he used probability theories to place his bet in the yearly town fair and how the operator had to close down because my husband kept winning. How's that for coincidence? I married my Daniel Michon. Perhaps Italy is just around the corner, eh?

Scaredy Cat? Conquer Your Fear

Image: graur razvan ionut / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This is Day 2 of my 30-Day Blogging Challenge which coincides with my joining Celestine Chua's 30-Day Live a Better Life Challenge.

On the second day of Celestine Chua's 30-Day Live a Better Life Challenge, I'm reminded of my oldest sister who lives in Canada and the clothes she used to send to us through a balikbayan box. My oldest sister was a creative individual who would never wear clothes straight out of a boutique. Nifty with a needle and thread, she would alter new clothes and come up with a "Hyacinth" original. By alter, I mean that she would rip a sleeve off, sew additional buttons, or add a tulle flounce somewhere. This is what I've been doing with Celestine Chua's tasks, except that if Celes' LBL Challenge were a dress, I would have cut through the neckline, ripped a sleeve off, and made the skirt shorter. I wish that I did this as a creative endeavor, but I am ashamed to admit that it all boils down to fear.

Why am I afraid? Today's task is this:

What would you do if you can never, ever fail? What would you do if you have unlimited resources, time or networks? What are your biggest goals and dreams? What would you want to achieve in your life? What is your ideal life? What is a life you can look back and be proud of living, and tell yourself "I've truly lived to my fullest?"

All the others in the LBL challenge enjoyed this exercise, but I looked exactly like that kitten on the image, afraid to cross the road. Where is the 20-year-old, 5'2" (okay, okay  5'1") girl who flew to Japan with just $200 in her pocket and who knew no one in that land? Where is that fearless woman who went to Baltimore on an internship not knowing anyone else?

Why can't I dream? It's because I fear that I might not achieve it. How agonizing that would be! I don’t want my life to be “a perfect graveyard of buried hopes” as Anne of Green Gables would have said.

So, I don’t hope and I don’t dream.

Then I found this quote by Theodore Roosevelt in The Art of Manliness:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Armed with this, I dare to dream.

The Secret to Successful Personal Development

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This is Day 1 of my 30-Day Blogging Challenge which coincides with my joining Celestine Chua's 30-Day Live a Better Life Challenge.


The first day of Celestine Chua's 30-Day Live a Better Life Challenge kicked off today and I would say that it's really ambitious. She asks you first to write a note to yourself to encourage you in this journey. What I wrote in my note is eye-opening.

You see, if you're like me, I beat myself up for every small mistake I make. In fact, the slightest mistake can paralyze me and I would nurse a mistake and torture myself with regret for days and even years. While I may be patient with other people, I hold myself to a different and more rigid standard. That's why I have been holding off with this 30-Day Blog Challenge. I knew that if I couldn't do it, then I'd spend years recovering from the shame and defeat.

My letter to myself was the first time that I have been encouraging and kind to me, which brings me to the reason why I am into personal development lately. Is it because I don't like being me or is it because I know I deserve better?

Before you start in your journey to a better life, you have to be kind to yourself first. Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Treat yourself with kindness and respect. You're not some broken and incomplete person that needs fixing. You are complete, whole. Only in this mindset will you be successful. You set goals and fulfill your dreams because you value your life. You don't want it to go to waste with mindless living.

Twisted Halo of eternal sunshine is achieving her 30-Day Blog Challenge for this month. I love her blog, full of amazing pictures and she has this wonderful camera necklace collection. She's giving away one necklace for a blog giveaway so if you're into necklaces, check out her blog.